How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
