It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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