elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
