Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
