and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize