I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize