I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up under a house in Key West
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
