It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
