it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
