dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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