Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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