i think my tv is drunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
