I wanna bring you to show and tell
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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