God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
