I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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