but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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