giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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