This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
