Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
