Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
