you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
