if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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