Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
