So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
