You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
