my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
