He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
