You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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