Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it glows. i had to have it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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