Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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