Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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