party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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