it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She told me I should be a condom model.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
