I accidentally burped into my bong.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
