Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
