I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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