my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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