She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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