they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
