one two three fourrrrnication!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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