well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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