Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
