Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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