He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
