oh god the rape fog is back!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
