weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
