im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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