when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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