We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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