My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
