Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You have to summon your inner elephant
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
