remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
