you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
