He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He passed out mid-signature
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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