"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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