I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
