Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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