awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
