Where did you get a picture of my penis
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
