just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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