He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
