he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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