He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize