if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think my moral compass just broke
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
