I want to make a zoo with you.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
