drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
worst night to have a conscience
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
