And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize