you would pick up someone in the library
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize