Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
