It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
