I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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