I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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