mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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